SCARED
By David Allen
Want to know what scares me?
Running out of ink when inspiration strikes
Blank paper
Complaining to my wife when she’s off her meds
Being stranded in a doctor’s examination room
Buying gas on the weekend
Forgetting birthdays
Having a birthday
Running out of crossword puzzles in the bathroom
Running out of toilet paper
Getting a phone call from my bank
Getting late night phones call from my children
Going with my wife to a church rummage sale
Stepping on a scale
Looking in a mirror first thing in the morning
Looking at my hair after a nap
Being late for anything
Forgetting a word
Forgetting someone’s name
Balancing my checkbook
Not having a deadline
Shopping for groceries
Winter
Credit scores
Visiting a trailer park during a tornado watch
My wife asking me if new pants make her look fat
Having to run away
My cable TV bill
My cell phone bill
Finding hair on my brush
Pizza from Pizza King
Brussels sprouts
Fruitcakes
Cabbage
A plain bagel
Pea soup
Vegetarians
Highway rotaries
Barber shops
My wife’s silence when I create a pun
My wife’s silence when I crack a joke
My wife’s silence
Silence from the voice in my head
Silence
Lawyers
Doctors
Politicians
Preachers
Armed Teabaggers
Donald Trump’s hair
Insurance salesmen
Anderson, Indiana
V-neck sweaters
Swimming without a shirt
Radical Muslims
Radical Christians
Radical Jews
Radical Hindus
Radical Atheists
Running out of chocolate
Empty bookcases
My garage
My wife’s shoe closet
Riding in a car as a passenger
Funeral parlors
Walmart
GPS voices
Bagpipes
Prescription drug commercials
Emus
Guam’s kamikaze crows
Palm readers
Psychics
Fortune cookies
Goodbyes
Explaining the meaning of my poems
Type Dancing 